All the worship you can handle

Awesome link: A Hillsong youtube playlist.

Brett Ripley in Test Result Format

I. Meyers-Briggs:
-ENTP, "The Inventor"

II. Strengths Finder:

1. Input
   
2. Ideation
   
3. Strategic
   
4. Woo
   
5. Connectedness

III. Love Languages
-Quality Time
-Words of affirmation

IV. Spiritual Gifts (according to a "SHAPE" survey)
1. Prophet
2. Teacher
3. Wisdom

East of Eden, an impression

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"The Salinas Valley is in Northern Caliofornia. It is a long narrow swale between two ranges of mountains, and the Salinas River winds and twists up the center until it falls at last into Monterey Bay."

Thus begins Steinbeck's epic. When I read the first few pages I thought the writing was almost like that of a poem. Steinbeck's writing was brilliant and beautiful. I simply wondered where the poetic magic would end and where the real exposition would start. What still baffles me is that it never did. He writes dark, heavy, and beautiful- for 600 pages.

I'll just get straight to the punchline now and say that East of Eden is the best work of fiction that I have ever read. This book rocked my world- and I'm not really a fiction reader. In one of the deepest and most profound portions of the book, Lee (the Chinese philosopher-servant) makes a remark to Samuel Hamilton (my favorite fictional character- ever). They're talking about the story of Cain and Abel- what it is about the story that reaches down deep into humanity's past and into the condition of men who find themselves in the fallen world, "east of Eden".

"A great and lasting story is about everyone or it will not last. The strange and foreign is not interesting- only the deeply personal and familiar." He continues, "I think this is the best-known story in the world because it is everybody's story. I think it is the symbol story of the human soul" ... "The greatest terror a child can have is that he isn't loved, and rejection is the hell he fears. I think everyone in the world to a large or small extent has felt rejection. And with rejection comes anger, and with anger some kind of crime in revenge for the rejection, and with the crime guilt- and there is the story of mankind" ... "Therefore I think this old and terrible story is important because it is a chart of the soul- the secret, rejected, guilty soul."

Ironically, this is exactly what Steinbeck has created- a dark but powerful novel that reaches down deep, touching parts of my soul that I had all but forgotten. Still though, these parts make up most of who I am and largely dictate what I do.

While reading East, it quickly became clear that Steinbeck was a genius, with an eye for seeing into people that I doubt will ever be equaled. What makes him so phenomenal though is that along with the keen insight, he also possesses the ability to communicate it through, honestly, the best writing that I've ever seen.

In this book I found an author who saw things much like the way I see them, who even expresses himself the way I express myself. On both counts though, I was so humbled to find someone who did both the seeing and the saying far better than I could ever dream to. Steinbeck was a genius. A master of the human psyche. A man who saw things much like I do. Steinbeck though sees much more deeply and much more clearly than me.

And how could I write an impression without mentioning Samuel Hamilton. "Some men think big and some think little", Steinbeck writes. Samuel would be one of the former. I really don't want to try to describe him here, simply because I know I really won't do him the justice that he deserves. In Samuel, I found the mentor and kindred spirit that I've perhaps been searching for my whole life. He embodies warmth and deep understanding, while toeing the line between simple joy and a heavy soul. A man truly after my own heart.

This book has made me feel feelings that I haven't felt in a long time. Feelings that don't arise from the shallow trough of heartbreak or even the death of characters. They were feelings that arose out of long forgotten hurts and memories that I never dreamed could be part of the universal human experience.

In short, this book has changed me, though I'm not quite sure how. It's a beautiful, though sometimes bleak, story of how life plays out for two families in California around the turn of the 20th century. But maybe it's more than that. Maybe it's a story about the human soul. Maybe it's less about Adam, Cathy, Sam, Cal, and Aron, and more a story about ourselves.

(I realize that what precedes isn't really a review and certainly doesn't contain a synopsis. It's simply an "impression" where I gush about my mancrush on Steinbeck.)

Oh, Lord. It's too much for me! The deep desire to love me and be with me in spite of me and the length that you go to make it possible. Thank you, Jesus for teaching us how to pray, for teaching us forgiveness and then dying so that forgiveness can be ours and we can forgive others.

Thank you for a love that is conditional, but not on me. That nothing can for sin atone- nothing but the blood of Jesus.

God that you could love and forgive and bless sinful, weak men like Abraham because you were looking ahead to the blood that your son would shed on the cross for them- and in so doing your blessing that was conditioned on Jesus' blood paved the way for the Savior's own bloodline. My GOD! My GOD! Lord, it's almost too much to take in.

You have done it and you still do it and you will do it. Lord, as I read how you work, how you reveal yourself in the old old Scriptures and in the face of Christ, I can't help but think you are just crazy sometimes. Instead of going to the most religious, moral men you can find, you scrounge up guys like Levi- the Benedict Arnold outcast of society who sells out his people for a comfortable life and then cheats them. God! Why?! Why do you come to Levi- what have you come to show? I thank you that the book on you was not written by religious people but by you! Who would think of a God who does this?

You are so far above me that the only way I can be with me is if you just decide to look past my imperfection. And that's what you do and I LOVE YOU FOR IT!!!

The God of the Old Testament

I want to breeze past the fact that I am reading through the bible chronologically this year and move forward to the what I've been getting out of it.

Honestly, it has been so good for my soul reading through Genesis so far. This time through the Bible, I'm trying to focus on God. I know that sounds silly, but I think with all the action, the constant character changes, and plotlines, it's easy to get wrapped up and focus on the details of the story and lose track of the most important thing in the bible- its Author.

I don't think I remember being this encouraged from the Word in a long time. Contrary to the moralistic versions of Old Testament stories that I grew up with (like be a good person and God will bless you- look at all these examples...) I've started to see the stories for what they are: God just choosing the sometimes seemingly arbitrary, sometimes morally repugnant people to bless.

Look at the stories. God chooses and then God blesses. That's it. Sure, there's decisions made and consequences for good and bad decisions, but the biggest thing that I've seen is that if you are chosen by God, you simply cannot escape his blessing. If he sets his sight on you to love, I'm sorry but there's no option but to be loved. If you are in a covenant with him, there is nothing that you can do to avoid love and blessing.

One example that was encouraging to me was that of Abraham. Check out what happens. God chooses. He tells Abe that he's going to bless him. He even makes a covenant with him, and in an old school/old testament way says, "If I should break this covenant, may I die."

RIGHT after that, we get a story about old Abe being not so honest. In an action that reeks of distrust in the Lord, he pretends that his wife is his sister. Right after God promised he'd go with him! Right after the covenant! And what does God do? Break the deal, looking for someone with just a little more faith and spiritual fidelity? No, God does just what he promises to do. He saves Abraham from his stupid decision and then he blesses him.

He does this throughout Abraham's life (see the second time he does this or the incident with Ishmael). Now, you might say, "Hey, but look at the great faith and trust of Abraham when asked to sacrifice his son. This is his great choice and is why he is commended." To which I would simply reply- yes!!! He is made great- because of God's choice to bless him and love him and save him from his own faults.

SO, for you new covenanters, heirs of an even richer promise than Abraham himself, what does this mean? What does it mean that God's love is inescapable? That he does not bless everyone, but for those he chooses, there is no other option than blessing? That his love is relentless? Furious? Not conditional on you at all? That he has chosen to bless you and there's nothing that you can do wiliingly or unwillingly, no stupid decision, no moment of weakness, no distrust, no lack of faith that you can exude to escape from it?

What joy for those whose hope is in the name of the Lord.

I LOVE this quote.

I have taken my good deeds and bad deeds and thrown them together in a heap, and fled from them both to Christ, and in him I have peace."
David Dickson

Boredom

Here's a thought. Is the word boredom going to even make sense in 20 years? Does it make sense now?