With all the introspection I've been doing the last few weeks, I've been really thinking about Christian existentialism alot. I've really been feeling that with all the doubting I've been doing and focus on figuring out myself (as opposed to God) that I'm somehow doing something wrong.
Right now, I'm having a change of heart. No matter what's true, the searching and introspection is only making me a stronger, more aware person.
Luke 17:21
"nor will people say, 'Here it is,' or 'There it is,' because the kingdom of God is within you."
*Leo Tolstoy wrote a book entitled The Kingdom of God is Within You. **Tolstoy is the famed Russian writer/philosopher who inspired the likes of Gandhi, and MLK Jr. and who Dostoevsky (One of the greatest authors ever) called one of the greatest authors ever.
There are a couple more external sources for my reasoning
1.) Biblically (mostly Paul's doing)
James 1:2-4 - Count it joy when we face trials (hardly the natural reaction), because this leads to patience and completeness in God's service. Whoever developed patience when his patience was never tried?
Romans 5:3-5 - Rejoice in tribulations because they work steadfastness, approvedness, and hope.
2.) Thomas- The primary theme for the gnostic gospel of Thomas is one of salvation through spiritual and psychological introspection. Mo matter what you think about the gnostic gospel itself, I think it has alot of intrinsic wisdom to be extracted.
3.) Soren, Soren, Soren- It seems like this guy comes up alot in my blog but I think at the very core of existentialism is the very personal idea of figuring yourself out.
4. Socrates- "The unexamined life is not worth living"
(As I've mentioned before, this sentiment is echoed by many of the greats. To be noted specifically are both the founding fathers of existentialism, Nietzsche and Kierkegaard)
"Far out, dude." That's where I feel this is going. My favorite part of philosophy are the ideas that give voice to something within me, something that resonates with me so...
Where's the application?
I think that if you've got happiness, then maybe that's not worth giving up (contrary to the rest of my post... and blog). At the same time, I think there is something special to be gained by questioning, specifically yourself.
Why do you do what you do? Why do you behave like you do? (i.e. What future goals and past experiences influence what you're doing in your life right now?) What relationships and experiences fucked you up, and which ones helped you become more secure with who you really are? What are the parts you love about yourself? What are the parts that could use work?
I think the list is endless. I also think that the list can and should go on... and on... and on...
