Bigme
I think that bigme is what we Americans think of when we think of loving someone, of encouraging someone, and ultimately, making that person happy.
Bigme says "Wow, you are amazing. You have done so well to get here and we love you because you are great. Look at all you have and all that you have done."Bigme happens when:
-The glory of your name is what you take joy from.
-Athletes, actors, and celebrities are worshipped.
-Your talent or fame bring honor to you and you alone.
-Any other situation where you yourself are blown up above your fellow humans.
What follows these? A shot of joy, of course. But what happens when these are the only shots you get? I would guess that over time, a cycle of these shots would have at first have subtle, and finally, terrifying effects.
Effects of Bigme:
1. Pride. Enough said. You are the man. Other things and people are insignificant.
2. Loneliness and Isolation. While yourself and others are building your pedestal you will find that all of a sudden, hardly anyone can relate to you. As you look around the others that are at your height may understand you but, then again, they can't look up and talk to you- they're too busy building and maintaining... and they're so far away.
3. Illusion of independence: You get the feeling that you don't need anyone- no person (and no God?) outside of yourself. This is dangerous and it truly is an illusion.
Long ago it was written that this "bigme" brand of happiness leads ultimately to death. The road has its ups and downs but the destination is eventually the same.
Are we then left to avoiding joy like the plague in a sort of gray existence? A lifeless ascetism that leaves us on a low even keel. I praise God that it is not this way.
Smallme
I know what you're thinking. "Lame. 'Small me' is the last thing I want deep down." What I say is, "Look deeper".
There is somewhere in us a desire to be in awe observing rather than being in awe of. Why do we go to the Grand Canyon? If you have been here then you know the take-your-breath-away feeling. The one where you just forgot yourself, swept away in the beauty and age that you couldn't hope to come up with yourself in a million years. It's good. It's real. It's humbling.
Smallme happens when:
-We take joy from being part of a whole- a whole that is on a completely different scale than what we could ever hope to accomplish by ourselves.
-We point to something greater than ourselves
-We start living for someone or something else outside of ourselves.
Effects of Smallme:
1. We start to view the people and things in our lives as undeserved gifts. We are humbled by them and we appreciate them for the gifts they are.
2. We get off the rollercoaster that is based on the insulin shots of attention. We build our foundation on a stable rock. When you are put down by another, you do not hurtle. You smile and you agree. Your joy isn't wrapped up in your self-esteem.
3. We are liberated to think of all the beatiful things in the world- and nothing is more ugly than self-obsession and self-engrandizing.
Instead of climbing the slippery, fleeting mountain of bigme happiness, just look for the Grand Canyon. You can't miss it.
